I am a firm believer that keeping a blog or journal (or both) is healthy for the soul. You never really know where your writing is going to take you or how you actually feel about something until you begin putting it down. Theres something calming about putting pencil to paper, although if you have a child’s handwriting like I do you may prefer typing everything out :).
I think the one thing I always find I get out of writing is a sense of organization of my thoughts and feeling that feel like a blur when I just try and think about them. For example: right now I hate that I’m just curled up in bed not doing anything on a saturday night, feeling alone (especially since my roommates are gone for the weekend), and feeling nervous about being alone. I wish I had more motivation, I miss having a car, and I miss the feeling of almost always having someone around. I think that last statement is something I’ll never fully adjust to. I love being able to have a whole bed to myself some nights, I love my new adventures of independence (although the money bit will always be hard), and I just find I’m happier in general.
I know there are those still unhappy with the decisions I’ve made but at this point in time I know it was the right thing to do and I needed to do it, for me. I tire of conflicting opinions on the matter but know that I will always have to deal with the consequences of my decision.
Things I have to be grateful for
- Loving parents who will be there for me no matter what (even if they don’t agree or understand me)
- A roof over my head
- A roommate who has become a great friend
- A job I love with a supportive, caring boss
- An acceptance into college and starting off with good grades
- Legs that walk, a body that moves. My health
- A God that loves and forgives
- A new sense of confidence
- Food in the cupboard
- Patience, Optimism, happiness
- you.
- A feeling of being wanted
We must choose to see the beauty in everything. We choose to be happy, to not let things get us down. Make a list of everything that makes you happy or smile, and on the days when you feel like nothing is right, pick something off of that list. I walk everyday wether its to school or work. Somedays I just get so sick of the same routine: Strap on the backpack, plug in the earphones and try and just let my mind wander. Every now and then I remember to look.. up, down, anywhere. Two beautiful images now come to mind. Pausing to watch the gorgeous leaves of amber, yellow and red coming down off the trees and twirling and dancing in the air before coming to rest on the ground, and looking up to see the snow sparkling, and clean resting on the branches with tiny snowflakes having their turn to dance in front my eyes. It helps make my walk just that little bit better and easier to handle.
